i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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