In the future we'll all be gay
He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
