I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
