My room smells like vodka and shame
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
