Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
