no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
