i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize