All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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