that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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