Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize