Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
