yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
