I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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