They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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