whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
