I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
