Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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