I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
