Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
