Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Screwed.edu
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
