He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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