I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
