it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
