Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
This is the high leading the old right now
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
