I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
