Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
