I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Randomize
