so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
