just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
