I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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