In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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