I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
