i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
