i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Randomize
