yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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