Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
