i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
