I think I died a long time ago.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
