things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
