If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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