That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
it was like his penis was on wheels.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
