Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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