One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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