thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
