THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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