I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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