I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
