How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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