It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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