i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
