I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
