Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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