theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
