How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Randomize
