Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I need a burrito and a hug.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
