Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
