this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
