If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
