The best revenge is premature balding
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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