90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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