Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
